Saturday, January 15, 2022

The abusive use of psychology to destroy one's opponent:"All is fair in love and war"

In the Tamar Epstein heter - the critical issues is not so much the halacha but the psychological "reports" that are used as evidence to "prove" that Aharon Friedman is not capable of being a minimum husband and thus it is a mekach ta'us because Tamar would never have married a person whom the majority of women would not view as even a minimal husband.

She and her chief advocate R Shalom Kaminetsky presented as objective reality the report of a psychologist that Tamar hired to besmirch Aharon and thus justify for the poskim a ruling of mekach ta'us. He conveniently didn't meet with Aharon but relied on the "objective" reports that Tamar provided him.

Ploni has presented some really solid arguments against this approach - but it doesn't seem to have convinced various elements. So in the name of a scientific understanding of psychology that will grab even the most convinced opponent I would like to turn the tables and use the same technique in evaluating the mental health of Aharon Friedman's opponents including Tamar, Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky, Rav Shalom Kaminetsky and Rav Nota Greenblatt.

Is there any preference which one to start with? Perhaps Tamar - who while quite intelligent perhaps was possibly suffering [educated guess but not known to be true] from a post partum depression aggravated by the shrill voice of her mother and the Goldfein's telling her to drop Aharon because she could do so much better? 

Perhaps we should start with the two gedolim who are both above 90 [which we all know what that means] and who blame each other for the heter [both having ignored normative halacha in this case because of their respect for the other]? Both of whom acknowledged they know nothing about psychological diagnoses and were totally dependent on what R Shalom could get out of his paid "gun" which he thoughtfully put a severe negative spin on when he explained what the psychologist said.

Or perhaps we should start with Reb Shalom whom at this point is widely hated for making his father the Rav Goren of our generation. A person who has gotten himself and his father into a series of misadventures recently - including the Meisels Seminary debacle? A person who seems to have a Messiah complex and selflessly ran around the world with the solution to Tamar's problem (an annulment with a cooked psychological report that not only was full of lies but is so unethical the psychologist who collaborated with him would probably lose his license when his name is revealed)? A man so dedicated to freeing Tamar that he wasn't in the slightest deterred as posek after posek laughed in his face when he begged them to sign on the heter. A man who had no interest in asking what the halacha was but rather in finding someone who would agree with what he felt was the solution.

So where shall we start?

1 comment :

  1. Torah thought this week’s parsha משפטים “If he came single, he shall leave single אם בגפו יבא בגפו יצא; if he had a wife, his wife shall leave with him. If his master gave him a wife אם אדניו יתן לו אשה, and she has borne him children וילדו לו בנים או בנות; the wife and her children האשה וילדיה shall belong to the master תהיה לאדניה, and he shall leave alone והוא יצא בגפו. But if the slave declares ואם אמר יאמר העבד: I love my master, and my wife, and children; I do not wish to go free לא אצא חפשי,” (Exodus 21:3-5).

    My theory. Everyone knows well the rules. She must put on a show of conversion to enjoy the full rights and duties of a Jewish wife (Hertz Chumash p. 840) “and discard her captive’s garb. She shall spend a month’s time in your house lamenting her father and mother a full month; after that you may come to her and possess her, and she shall be your wife.” (Deuteronomy 21:13).
    שמות פרשת משפטים פרק כא פסוק ג - ו
    (ג) אִם בְּגַפּוֹ יָבֹא בְּגַפּוֹ יֵצֵא אִם בַּעַל אִשָּׁה הוּא וְיָצְאָה אִשְׁתּוֹ עִמּוֹ:
    (ד) אִם אֲדֹנָיו יִתֶּן לוֹ אִשָּׁה וְיָלְדָה לוֹ בָנִים אוֹ בָנוֹת הָאִשָּׁה וִילָדֶיהָ תִּהְיֶה לַאדֹנֶיהָ וְהוּא יֵצֵא בְגַפּוֹ:
    (ה) וְאִם אָמֹר יֹאמַר הָעֶבֶד אָהַבְתִּי אֶת אֲדֹנִי אֶת אִשְׁתִּי וְאֶת בָּנָי לֹא אֵצֵא חָפְשִׁי:
    רש"י שמות פרשת משפטים פרק כא פסוק ג
    בגפו יצא - מגיד שאם לא היה נשוי מתחלה, אין רבו מוסר לו שפחה כנעניתי להוליד ממנה עבדים:
    אם בעל אשה הוא - ישראלית:
    ויצאה אשתו עמו - וכי מי הכניסה שתצא, אלא מגיד הכתוב, שהקונה עבד עברי חייב במזונות אשתול ובניו:
    רש"י שמות פרשת משפטים פרק כא פסוק ד
    אם אדניו יתן לו אשה - מכאן שהרשות ביד רבו למסור לו שפחה כנענית להוליד ממנה עבדים. או אינו אלא בישראלית,נ תלמוד לומר האשה וילדיה תהיה לאדוניה, הא אינו מדבר אלא בכנענית, שהרי העבריה אף היא יוצאה בשש, ואפילו לפני שש אם הביאה סימנין יוצאה, שנאמר (דברים טו יב) אחיך העברי או העבריה, מלמד, שאף העבריה יוצאה בשש:

    https://www.israelnationalnews.com/news/320969 Rabbi Fischer says: “I did meet with her and with her beau, not from employment fear but because it was the right thing to do. She had a lovely personality, was very respectful and courteous. So was the boyfriend. And she also was very honest: she just does not believe in G-d, has no desire to convert to any religion, has no intention to rear future children in any religion, will let them decide. It was clear she was not ready for proper conversion to Judaism.”

    The Talmud says the master is allowed to use violence/force to evict the slave who says I do not wish to go free. Many use this Talmud as precedent for beating a recalcitrant husband. Better would be if the non-Jewish slave girl simply announces she wants to become a Jew, much like the captured slave girl in war time. Follow, KA, Garnel, JoeOrlow, Ploni ?

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